Sam's little monkeys: My Littlest Son

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I really hope you visit and comment often about the photos and anything else you'd like to see or know about our changing lives and circumstances.

As you probably can tell I have welcomed my newest edition little Ezri Faline. She was born on the 8th of June 2008 in Tacoma WA! She has been an amazing blessing. Kail, Kaimi and Casey are very happy to have a new sister to love. They all vie for her attention like little puppies with a new chew toy!

I am utterly fascinated by her cuteness and fierce little nature already. I am so proud to call her my own. I am so happy to be a new mommy again. All of my children and Casey are joyful little treasures that make me laugh every day.

I hope you enjoy the experience of knowing all of them as individuals as much as we do.

This is a cute photo of me and my youngest son. We were at Folk Life Festival with David and Casey too. Fun was everywhere along with candies and sugar galore!

Birth of Ezri Faline

I remember so vividly having Ezri. It seems like a dream. It was intensely private and dreamlike. I dont know if I could relate it in words that convey how the experience was like for me personally. Having had two other children previous, this time I felt powerful and able to handle it on my own. I felt more prepared than I had ever before. I was still scared of course, but this time it was different because I knew what to expect and I knew that I had support in place to help me. I was truly blessed.

I was sad that I had to be induced due to preeclampsia but I knew that was the best thing for both her and myself at that time. The moment of regret passed very fast when I remembered that no matter how my birth went, I'd eventually have her in my arms.

The contractions were fairly easy until about 5 a.m. in the morning on Sunday. I had sent my mother and youngest son home to rest on Saturday and I labored alone until I was ready to have my daughter. I felt the desire to be in a private and quiet space. I didn't want David there either so that I could mentally prepare myself for active labor (pushing).

By the time my mother came to the hospital I was ready to push. David showed up a short while later after my mother called him to hurry up as I was progressing quite fast. I had sent him a text message to head down earlier but he had fallen asleep at home and didn't get it. He almost missed it!

In the end my mother was there where I could see and feel her comforting presence. She's been by my side for all of my births and I couldn't honestly have done this without her. David was there as well and he got what he wanted which was to catch. He ended up cutting the cord too during the confusion as I wanted my mother to do that. I remember pushing Ezri out with all my strength and feeling such relief to know she was finally safe with me.

She was finally put on my chest for me to hold. I started to cry because she looked so beautiful and little. I wanted to hold her and protect her and just never let her go. Throughout my entire pregnancy with her I felt intensely connected to her. I felt her presence within me, I felt her personality. I'd never experienced that kind of in-utero connection before probably because this time around I wasn't as afraid of the whole process. I also allowed myself the time needed to explore what being a mom actually meant to me.

For the next two days in the hospital we stayed together. Kail and Kaimi were there and Casey showed up later that afternoon with his Mom and Rick. David stayed the second day overnight as well. Ezri and I took really easily to breastfeeding initially. I felt and still do today such pride and joy when I talk about my daughter. Looking at her fills me with wonder because I keep thinking to myself, "wow, a little me!" She's the first child I've had that actually looks like me more than she does Dad! I suppose it helps that she is a girl and it reasons she'd have my feminine features.

Ezri had her black fuzzy hair and pretty blue eyes. She was very alert and so little. I wanted to have her sleep with me but was afraid I'd roll over in the bed and smoosh her as I was so tired.

She ended up having to stay in the hospital because of jaundice for 5 days while I had to go home. Although I tried to visit everyday to feed her breastmilk, it felt terrible to be home without her. I missed her so very much. Her brother's missed her so much too. I know David hated her being there as well.

Sam's little monkeys

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About Me and my Monkeys

Look at that Tummy!

My pretty little girl!

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

My Littlest Son

Casey with Ezri

Kail and Ezri